Who Do You Want By Your Side?

Yep, he’s still the one!


A few years ago, I wrote a post about figuring out if the current object of your affection is “Mr. Right Now” or “Mr. Forever.”  Ever since then, I really have used it as a guide to help my friends and sisters trying to figure out the million dollar question: is he the one?

Today, I have a new one to add to the list:

Is he the one you want by your side amidst life’s challenges, stresses, and heartache?

It’s easy to fall in love with someone when you’re first getting started, especially when they wine and dine you.  I look back SO fondly on the two years I spent dating and falling in love with B.  Besides our jobs, the only other thing on our agenda was to date and fall in love–we would go to fancy restaurants, head to coffee shops on the weekends to read, sit on my rooftop deck that overlooked the city and have a glass of wine at the end of the day, wander around Whole Foods sampling everything and coming up with ingredients for a delicious dinner…he even went shopping with me (and he liked it!)

Falling in love is the best!!  And as much as we’d like to think that life and marriage is always filled with five-course meals, frequent vacations, constant romance, and unlimited spending money.  That’s not always the case.

The fact is, that whether you’re married or single, life has it’s challenges.  In John 16, Jesus tells us, “in this world, you WILL have trouble.”

So the question is: who do you want by your side when the trouble comes?

Over the past few months, though nothing horrific, B and I have walked through a few little bumps together…adjusting to life with a new baby in the middle of graduate school, deciding together to turn down the wrong job opportunity but having to wait patiently for the right one to come along, moving with a five-month-old (is there anything worse than moving?!), and then unexpectedly saying goodbye to our sweet dog.

Last week, as we prepared to bury Neely, I looked at B and said, “You know, this is something I’ve never thought about us having to do, but I have to say, there’s no one I’d rather be doing it with than you.”

I love my husband when it seems like our lives our on track and everything is as it should be (that’s easy!), but I have to say, I love him even more when a storm comes our way and we have to hold on tightly to God and one another.

Life isn’t easy.  Unfortunately, there are lots of storms to be weathered…losing a loved one, infertility, sickness, losing a job, financial trouble…

Who do you want by your side when the trouble comes?

I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but here are a few things I’d say:

  • someone who will pray with you and for you,
  • someone who will hold you as you cry,
  • someone who stays calm in the midst of pressure and uncertainty,
  • someone you can laugh with even when there’s not much to laugh about,
  • someone who won’t give up,
  • and most importantly, someone who knows that when the storms do come, there is only One who can carry you both through them and this person is committed to holding on and seeking God with you until God leads you both through it.
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT)