So once you actually find “the one” and magically become a wife and a Mrs, now what? You kiss your groom and you live happily ever after, right? Well, not exactly…
In the vast experience I have of approximately 2.5 years of being married, there are parts of marriage that are better than I ever expected, but there are also some parts that are a lot more difficult.
I certainly can’t begin to claim to have any secret marriage recipes. However I will say, that over and over, the one thing I continue to learn is the power of prayer.
Prayer for the ability to love and honor your husband the way he needs to be loved.
Prayer for God to lead and guide you as a couple and as individuals.
Prayer for self-control to pause before speaking or lashing out (that’s a big one for me).
Prayer for God to move in situations that are beyond your control (another big one).
I love being in control, but I’ve found in marriage, that there are many situations (pretty much all of them) that are beyond my control or interference.
Last spring, we found out Bernie was waitlisted at his top choice for business school. All the plans we had laid out were put on pause and we were both pretty disappointed. For me, it was hard to see a situation unravel that I had no say in and wasn’t able to fix. I felt helpless and desperately wanted to turn the situation around.
Little by little, God began to show me that it wasn’t up to me to fix. It’s not up to me to control our future, it’s up to God. Even though I couldn’t see the big picture and I was frustrated, discouraged, and confused; God had a plan. In some ways it’s taken me until now to truly see that, but God always has a plan.
During this season I learned so much about the importance and power of prayer in marriage. Rather than trying to interfere, or map out plans B, C, & D, I was strengthened, renewed, and quieted through prayer.
I began to see that the best thing I could do for Bernie, for myself, and for our young, little marriage was to go to God every single morning and pray for our family and our future. Little by little I watched as God gave us both eyes to see beyond business school and slowly put the pieces into place that eventually led us to Virginia Beach.
As hard as it is to admit, my marriage and my husband aren’t mine, they’re God’s. For a control freak like me it’s hard to realize that. Many times, God works and intervenes in situations in ways that may not make sense, but we have to trust He knows what He’s doing.
Pray for your husband. Pray for your marriage. Pray for your future. Prayer is one of the greatest wedding gifts God has given to us. Don’t bury it away with the china, take time to enjoy it, utilize it, and rest in it!