Last night was supposed to be a good night. Our kitchen was beginning to come together and I was successfully able to find the ingredients to make some brownies. We had a great night with our community group where I shared how I could see God’s hand in every detail of our move and was so grateful for how He provided for us. The night was on track, when suddenly Bernie asked, “Do you have the apartment keys?”
Did I have the keys?!? Nope, I most certainly did not have the keys. (Insert expletives here.)
Still new to the apartment, we hadn’t made a complete extra set of keys and became “those new people” in the building trying to break into our apartment with a credit card. Unsuccessful, we reluctantly surrendered to the overpriced locksmith forty-five minutes later. Great way to meet the neighbors, huh??
It’s was amazing how quickly I fell off of the “God loves me so much, look at how He provides” train, to instantly feeling like God let me down. Even in something as insignificant as locking myself out of my apartment, I saw how my heart for God can be so circumstantial. The minute one thing goes wrong, my heart changes.
My reaction was far from stellar. I was rude to the locksmith for overcharging us, mean to Bernie, and mad at God that we’re trying so hard to be good stewards with our money and had to fork over $149 to the locksmith. As if God was the one who left the keys on the table?? My heart was filled with anger and resentment.
Yes, I realize how trivial this sounds. But at the risk of embarrassing myself, I want to put it out there because it made me aware of how so often my emotions and feelings towards God and those around me can be extremely circumstantial. Even in something as silly as being locked out. So many times little roadblocks get in out way and I’m instantly aware of how flaky I can be. Can anyone else relate?
Yet in spite of how disgusted I am by my sin, God’s mercies are New. Every. Single. Morning. That is one of my all time favorite promises. I can’t tell you what a gift it was to wake up this morning on the inside of my apartment reminded that today is a new day, God will not stop loving me, and His mercies are brand new each day.
God still has a lot of work to do on my circumstantial heart, but on this new morning I am beyond grateful that I am forgiven, renewed, and loved. No matter what my circumstances are, that is always more than enough. Just remind me that I said that when the next mini crisis comes…
This week on Lysa Terkeurst’s blog, she’s been talking about learning to control our reactions when less than perfect situations arise and living “up to what we have already attained” (Phil. 3:16). Lysa is always one to challenge and encourage me, so I definitely recommend paying her a little visit.