Last week, Shauna Niequist wrote a fabulous post entitled, “You are Significant Without Your Significant Other.”
No matter where you are in life, I HIGHLY suggest you read it. If you’re single, it’s a great reminder that you don’t have to be defined by your relationship status; live life to the FULL and enjoy the freedom and flexibility God has given to you.
If you’re married, it’s good to be reminded that being married doesn’t make you better than single people, it isn’t always everything, and it’s not the only thing that defines you.
One of the things I MOST loved was her charge to single people:
“Don’t wait for marriage to start your life…I love all the ways that my single friends are living well, with a great sense of adventure and purpose. They’re starting non-profits, traveling the world, creating homes with great style and creativity, contributing to their communities with so much love and honesty.
One of the very worst things about the whole wedding tradition is that we help people set up households when they get married, communicating that homes and nice things are for married people. Why should you have to be married to own a decent knife? Why do we only give married people towels and china? Shouldn’t every person, married or not, have a decent coffee pot? Isn’t that sort of a basic human right…
….Grown-ups should have good knives and nightstands and homes that have been created with love and attentiveness. You don’t have to wait for a partner to invest in your space, in yourself, in your life.”
Don’t you love that?!
I remember being in college attending one of my first of many wedding showers for a friend and I couldn’t believe all the stuff that came piling in. Slowly, my blue eyes turned green as I saw all the loot pile up…. wine glasses, Tupperware, baking utensils, aprons, serving dishes…I headed home envious and frustrated, “Why,” I wondered, “do you have to wait until you get married to have a fully stocked kitchen? Surely, I don’t need a man for that! Procreating? Yes! But not for coordinated kitchen utensils!”
The next day, I made my way to Tuesday Morning (one of my many homes away from home) and inspected all of their kitchen gear determined to treat myself to some new, coordinating treats. It just so happened, that they had a plethora of royal blue Cuisinart tools, so I stocked up on all of it—pasta strainer, spoons, can openers—I didn’t hold back. $80 later, I walked out one satisfied shopper. Why wait around for a man to have cute appliances in my kitchen, when you can just buy them yourself?!
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE showering brides-to-be with beautiful, new things to fill her home, I just don’t think having beautiful things in your home is something you have to wait for until you’re married.
In some ways, I think this can be a microcosm for how we live our lives–it’s a common myth that life doesn’t begin until you settle down and find “the one,” but that couldn’t be further from the truth!
Life has started–right here, right now. Don’t put your dreams, desires, or home decorating plans on hold until Mr. Wonderful comes. Live life fully NOW.
Single friends, this week, head out and “Treat. Yo. Self.” (as Parks & Rec’s Tom Haverford and Donna would encourage) to something beautiful for your home–anything your heart desires (and budget can sustain). Have a friend getting married? Find something on her registry you like and buy it for yourself! (Just don’t forget to buy her something, too!) New dishes, a fancy garlic press, a milk frother, a Santuko knife, throw pillows, a set of towels–just something to add a little beauty and pampering to your home.
Let this serve as a small reminder that you are SO significant and valued and your life and your home, right here, right now, is worth living and enjoying to the FULL.
Married friends, think of a way to shower one of your single friends with a little something special–a candle, a vase, a beautiful coffee mug, coordinated dish towels…Just a little something to make her feel loved and valued. She’s been showering everyone around her, don’t you think she deserves some showering, too?
No matter what season you’re in right now, settle into the Truth that YOU are significant. You are valued. And you are fully loved and fully accepted. Rest in the loving arms of God. Let’s not put off enjoying the life God has called us live!