Sorry I’ve been a little MIA this week. My life is about to settle down, but it hasn’t quite yet. Since Monday, I have driven from DC to Virginia Beach, back to DC Tuesday night, and yesterday morning I hopped onto 95 with Bernie at 6:00 am and once again I find myself in Virginia Beach. To make a long story short, Bernie found out Tuesday he’ll be working here for two weeks, and since my work is here as well, we loaded up our wagon (yes, we drive a wagon) and will now be here for two weeks. Upon the news I called work and agreed to take on a focus group this morning at 6:45 am, so it’s kind of been one thing after the next. Come tonight, at least I’ll feel somewhat settled for two weeks. After that, who knows?
In other news, in case you didn’t know, guest posts make my heart sing! I love hearing the hearts, struggles, and desires of other women and I also LOVE being able to fill up Long to Love with other voices besides mine. So, thanks to Josie and Cally! And for anyone else who has something on their heart, please let me know! I always want this blog to be a joint effort.
Not only were Josie and Cally’s posts amazing, but they really resonated with my heart. Over the past few weeks, I have really been wrestling with my need/lack of control over my future plans. We’re currently in a waiting period until we hear about Bernie’s business school applications, and now all we can do is wait. It’s hard for me not to feel anxious, doubtful, or numb. It’s also extremely hard not to get carried away planning this next stage of life that may or may not be happening.
Two weeks ago, I found myself dreaming about a more settled life, a house, a dog, a slower pace, living nearby some of my dearest friends, and I felt the Lord whisper to my heart, “Let this go and just trust Me.”
For someone who lives to be in control and whose family occasionally refers to me as “Bossy The Cow,” (I have no idea where that came from) letting go can be be SO hard.
Especially, when you have no idea what to expect. I loved when Josie wrote:
“Let’s be honest. You and I are not ultimately in control of our lives—it’s at once a huge bummer and a great relief. But it’s only a comfort and relief because I believe that the One who is in charge not only knows me, but deeply cares for me and has promised to take care of me. Even more, He’s promised a full life!
So I encourage you to let go of control—you don’t have it anyway!—and to embrace the challenges that God puts in your path.”
“Let go of control—you don’t have it anyway!” So true but so hard.
I also loved how Cally talked about letting go of the notion that we’re in control of our timeline:
“The Lord has certainly shattered the idea that I can be in control of my timeline or my future and has recently been teaching me how to trust in Him, even when I really don’t want to.”
Over the past two years, one verse that continues to come up in my life is Proverbs 16:9,