So where did we leave off? Yesterday, we were talking about the magic question, “Is he the one?” A question that plagues women everywhere, but seriously, how do you know?
Once again, I must reiterate that I am no relationship expert, but these were some indicators that helped me realize Bernie was for me. If you missed yesterday, you can click here.
Yesterday we left off talking about whether or not the relationship bears fruit. I highlighted a verse in John 15 where Jesus says:
As a couple and as husband and wife, it’s important to make sure you’re both attaching yourselves to the vine. Whether we’re single or married, if we want to be fruitful, we need to make sure we’re interweaving our lives with Jesus, which leads me to my next question:
Is God your heart’s number one desire?
This was a big one for me. I went through a vicious cycle of going back and forth between God and guys. Typically, I would have one or the other. Either my relationship with God was in a pretty good place or I let my relationship with God fall away and chose to spend my time thinking and dreaming about my current love interest.
Almost 8 months after dating Bernie, I went to a women’s conference in need of a spiritual jolt. Typically, I would go to some kind of conference or retreat and left feeling like I needed to get rid of all men and just be with God. (Not saying that’s totally healthy or sane, that’s just how it usually happened). In all honesty, I was scared to go to the conference, because I was afraid I would leave feeling convicted to breakup with Bernie and I really liked him.
As I spent time that weekend praying about my relationship with God and my relationship with Bernie the strangest thing happened: As my love for God increased, so did my love for Bernie. I felt like God was saying, “You can have both, but I must always be number one.” I was excited, encouraged, and freed. I felt like God gave me an incredible gift in saying, “Yes, it’s okay to be in a relationship, just be careful it’s not more important that your relationship with Me.”
You see, our God is madly in love with us and He deeply desires our hearts. He doesn’t want anything, no matter how perfect, attractive, intelligent, romantic, or “good on paper” they are to come between us. When Jesus says the first and greatest commandment is to, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” He meant it.
When people ask me, “When did you know?” That is usually the moment I pinpoint. It’s still a lesson I continue to learn daily. No matter how wonderful Mr. Wonderful is, no one can take the place of our God. Only He is capable of truly fulfilling the voids, longings, and desires of our hearts. He is the One who “opens His hand and satisfies the desire of every living thing.” (Psalm 145)
Another question I would mention is something I wrote about last week. Are you rising or falling into love?
Each one of us was created and designed to rise into something special, unique, and perfectly designed for us. Something that is “immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3). Growing up and day dreaming about “the one” I can’t say Bernie was what I initially envisioned and even when I met him four years before we started dating, it wasn’t exactly “love at first sight”. BUT in so many ways, Bernie is immeasurably more than I ever imagined. He compliments and matches me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. Only God.
Does he bring out the best in you?
Does the relationship bear fruit?
Is God your heart’s number one desire?
Are you rising or falling into love?
God is the God of romance and when we allow Him access to every part of our lives, even our love lives, He is faithful. He knows what we need even before we ask for it. He loves us more than we can begin to comprehend and He has a good and perfect plan for each one of us. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!