I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. But those who trust in idols, who say to images, ‘You are our gods,’ will be turned back in utter shame.”
by Jordan Forbes
I don’t know about you guys, but I have really struggled with an anxious heart lately. Ironically, I have nothing to be anxious about! I have a great job, great boyfriend, great friends, and a family that loves me unconditionally.
So what’s going on then? I think some of it stems from the fact that four of my best friends have either gotten married or will be getting married in the next few months. I have stood up with all of them – and while happy beyond words for the new chapter in their lives, I’m always a little sad knowing that things will never quite be the way they were.
Additionally, my cousin called me two days ago to tell me that she is PREGNANT and due on my birthday! Kristin and I lived together before she got married last October. Not only was she my roommate (or cuzmate, as we liked to call each other), but my best friend and the closest thing to a sister I have ever had. And now that she’s married, with a baby on the way, I can’t help but feel like I’m getting a little left behind.
All of this has led me to dive headfirst into my career – analyzing my job more than ever before. I manage government affairs for the National Taxpayers Union. I love my job and it has been a tremendous blessing in my life, but I can’t help but ask myself: Is tax policy what I should be doing the rest of my life? What about my passion for campaign politics? I always kind of envisioned myself in Virginia politics, so when (if ever) should I make the move to Richmond?
Ever been here before? Where you’re just constantly looking for that next “high” to fulfill you and make you feel complete? It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of Washington, D.C. While I have always been ambitious, I sometimes feel lazy when I look around at others in D.C. WHO LITERALLY NEVER SLEEP. But, are those really the people I should strive to emulate? I think our Heavenly Father makes that answer clear.
Last night, I was led to a Beth Moore devotional book that has been a huge inspiration to me over the past year. Day 3 in Whispers of Hope talks about the failure of the Tower of Babel. Her analysis:
“Brick after brick, we humans sought to determine our own fate. Despite all the efforts, we never imposed our will on God, but God imposed His on us.”
How true is this? We constantly rebel against God because we think He is somehow trying to cheat us. We think OUR will is better than HIS will and it never, ever is.
“Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”
Ambition is not bad, but misguided ambition can still lead to emptiness. The verse above makes clear how misguided ambition can appear. We certainly have the right to make a name for ourselves, but that constant pursuit cheats us of the most glorious of all privileges: to bear the name of Jesus.
In the midst of thinking about the future and what it might hold, I hope I never forget who I ultimately serve.
“Choose you this day whom you will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”